“Feedback-Friend or Foe?”

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Feedback | Marcus 2229

“Sorry Tyrone, that’s just not your gift. Try something else.”

Depending on my emotional state, my attitude and my level of humility, I could welcome such a statement with gratitude or reject it with disdain. Honest feedback can be your friend or your foe-that totally depends on you.

Attaining high levels of performance in our various endeavours is dependent on a number of factors including skill, focus and being in the right environment. Yet, if we neglect to get feedback, we run the risk of being out of touch with reality. How approachable are you when it comes to being honestly evaluated by those in your inner space? Are you receptive or defensive? We rob ourselves of significant growth opportunities when we don’t embrace feedback as our friend.

Successful comedians are known to practise their jokes on smaller audiences so that they can test the strength of their humour before they go large. Public speakers, in the early stages of their development, wisely experiment in front of small children, with the guarantee that these youngsters will tell it like it is! That’s the beauty of feedback.

Be deliberate and assertive about this. Don’t wait for someone else to be courageous enough to speak up to you about one of your character weaknesses or work-related deficiencies. Put ‘feedback meetings’ in your schedule. I am fortunate to get feedback, generally-speaking, every two weeks from a close friend. We guard that time in our calendars. We talk about what we’re reading, our goals, diet, exercise, personal discipline, dressing appropriately, marriage… you get the point. Nothing is off limits!

Pursue feedback. Be intentional about it. Don’t be distracted by whether the other person’s tone was right or not, just focus on the content. You’ll be better for it.

This Post Has 14 Comments

  1. Allan Augustus Cunningham

    Dear Jt Marcus, This is healthy, timely and great food for the soul. The article provides an intentional/focused approach to my growth and treats with my soul’s challenge to purse humility and the courage to get honest feedback. Upon reflection, I find it hard to get honest feedback from my inner circle: wife, son, daughter, and friends. This gives an approach to getting, pursuing feedback and the attitude of being approachable so that feedback is received. Thank you for the example and instruction.

  2. Natalie

    Thanks Tyrone I am making feedback back my friend am truly understanding how to walk with my God humbly and to take feedback as my friend and not my foe am understanding the the resistance and the Pride is not where God’s Grace is because he give grace to the humble.so I will continue to pray for that wall of pride and resistance in me dissolve because that where growth is thank you

  3. J. Tyrone Marcus

    Thanks for your humility and honesty Allan in sharing as openly as you did. We all have blind spots so feedback from others brings us much closer to reality. That lays the foundation for character growth. Keep doing what you are doing.

  4. Brian Yarde

    Thank you Tyrone for this.

  5. J. Tyrone Marcus

    I appreciate your eagerness to grow in this area Natalie. Your reliance on divine strength will also go a far way in achieving your goal of character development.

  6. Rondell Frank

    I am yet to lose a fight with my inner self!

    My reception of feedback is often connected to if I am brushing shoulders with God or have him at arms length (intentionally or unintentionally). I value my inner circle’s outlook because it unveils who I really am and the person I am developing into but I struggle with consistency. As I reflect on it now, it begs the question is it a priority and am I open to taking instruction. Do I value taking input from others? I want to think it’s the rigours of life and everything being, “Busy, Busy, Busy!” Or, possibly my pride and defensive walls prevent me from pursuing tools such as receiving feedback that can build my Godly character.

    You have invoked inner thoughts for reflection and evaluation.
    Thanks for the timely perspective.

  7. J. Tyrone Marcus

    Thanks for the depth of your comment Rondell. Part of the power of character growth is the healthy introspection that it encourages. Self-awareness is so essential to becoming persons of wholesome character. When we embrace feedback, we get the chance to know ourselves better, both strengths and weaknesses. Continue on your commendable path of maturing your inner person Rondell.

  8. Chad Phillip

    This is so true and I thank you for that suggestion of set feedback time with a trusted friend. Never thought of it but now i will definitely implement. Thanks again …Keep up the good work.

    1. J. Tyrone Marcus

      No problem Chad and thanks for your own investment in your personal growth.

  9. Chad Phillip

    When is the Facebook page coming? Definitely need to engage a wider audience with this valuable knowledge.

    1. J. Tyrone Marcus

      Hey Chad, I appreciate your question. The only social media platform that I currently use is LinkedIn and this is for multiple reasons. However, I will look into your recommendation of getting the message of personal excellence and character growth, out to an expanding audience. Thanks for your feedback.

  10. Michelle Marcus

    This is excellent Tyrone. I am often guarded by who the feedback is coming from and there are other times people I may seek feedback and I don’t receive it or don’t welcome it. Feedback is good and something I definitely need to make my friend in whatever areas of my life. Thank you

  11. J. Tyrone Marcus

    You’re welcome Michelle. Many times, when we look past who the messenger is and just humbly listen to the message, we can learn so much. Mastering this area is an upward call for me too.

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